Tubby Marie:
Where you fat when you met your spouse? How much have you put on? Is your spouse ok with weight? .
Where you fat when you met your spouse? How much have you put on? Is your spouse ok with weight? .
On my phone so I'll try to keep this short (just as well or I'd probably write an essay). ETA: ended up being a bit of an essay anyway.
I'm something like a mutual gainer, she is something like a foodie and from a fat family. When we met I was officially overweight(170 lbs @ 5'8" bmi just under 26) while she wasn't quite (145 lbs @ 5'6", bmi about 23). I let her know fairly early on that thin did nothing for me and I didn't see fat as a bad thing ... But I made that mostly about her, as I'd been suppressing my own fat desires.
Over our first six years together I put on Forty and she put on 90, before we kind of got ourselves figured out on the sexuality, appetite, lifestyle, practicality thing. She dropped 20 lbs, then we both staid in a fairly narrow weight band for years.
More recently as age has impacted libido I've found myself more concerned with appealing to myself and less with appealing to her, and have let myself gain another 20, finally taking me up to a size I consider fat (just under 230, bmi 34-35, fat enough to feel jiggly and be at the limit of XL clothes).
Wife is not a real fan, although she doesn't really say anything, and even when I was 25 lbs lighter several years back she really had no sexual desire (for me? In general? Don't know), so for the most part it is working out OK, as at least I'm enjoying my body.
And oddly enough, this last year she surpassed her previous high, hitting 240. So I'm enjoying all the fats lately.... Other than sexually. But those are the chances you take in marriage I suppose( and as others have said, love is about so much more than sex, and we have plenty of love).
8 years